Perhaps proving that Juicy Couture designers never had true talent, and have now run out of trend-scoping steam, they’ve come out with this tote.

It. is. a market. - read - grocery - tote. in. leather. Oh, with a. little logo. creed. %&I$&#$@

Yeah, I say it right back to Juicy. You’re NOT “couture”. You produce this in the name of the purse, I say to you, f*(k you right back.

Poor animal that died in the name of this line.

At least this fuglyfabulously ugly bag is pure joke … um, right, Etro?

Bag + Chicken = ??? Chickbag! Able to confuse www.etro.com visitors with a single bawk.

Seriously, this company does make nice bags, what’s up with their odd language-referencing campaign? (Visit the website and click on “fish” for English to see what I mean.)

This bag looks like it started out with trends from the indie scene. First the designers layered cutout circles atop each other, then added beads. Then the designers moved on from today’s looks, with the most popular of ancient handcrafters’ marks, the Native Americans’ “feathers”, embroidery and thick stitches.

Unfortunately instead of hip and/or homey, the bag looks more like a trashy “professional” in a barely-there fringy skirt complete with diseased boils.

Instead of made with love this $2680 monstrosity is made with extra fug.

Source

Garbage Bag of the Week:

Jay McCarroll Bowler - Fred Flre $60

Is this how the winner of Project Runway makes a bag? See, this is what we get when the rules for the contest are as such; “the designers must sew” and “they must design women’s-wear” instead of the important things, like talent in aesthetic design. I mean of course sewing is an important factor with how the competitions are run, and sticking to ladies’ fashions keeps the show running more consistently, but with the popularity of purses, and the presence that handbag designers bring to the scene, where is the TV show for those aspiring to design bags?—Huh?!

Really, how does someone who won a major, famous contest for fashion design then make a bag that disregards color combination and basic knowledge of modern strap attachment? There is no talent in this cheap POS. Why make something for fabbingMy F-ing word Fred Flare, wih fugging vinyl trim?! No respect for you, McCarroll.

You’re out!

This is partly why I don’t like the show.

Lauren Conrad, famed from MTV’s The Hills and ex-BFF feud with co-star Heidi Montag, has designed three accessories for contemporary/urban luxury brand, Linea Pelle.

LC’s collection, called “L: Lauren Conrad for Linea Pelle“, consists of a matching hobo/tote convertible bag, clutch and coin purse all in subdued, soft leather and adorned in sophisticated chains.

“I love the bag because it holds so much and the leather is super soft. It is available in 3 colors. There’s also a clutch and a coin purse,” Conrad boasted of her designs.

To me this is not even just another celebrity living my dream, Click for more (photos: angles, colors, etc.) »

Consumers are cutting back, even fashionistas, even bag ladies - yes, even I am. Are we maturing? singularly, most of us (and me!). Is there a higher cost of living? Of course. Perhaps, it might be due in part to a growing awareness of “right” and “green” and all that. Does the American public have more of a conscience with spending?

I for one have cut back on my IT bags because I’ve gotten my own apartment, am struggling to work hard enough to keep my income rising and fit it in with managing a home. As a first-time parent-free lass, I have a boom of immediately worse costs, as well. Most of that will get better, but responsible times are ahead. It’s today, it’s the future.

But one blog, Luxist, suggests maybe designers’ efforts to produce drool-inducing must-haves in fact brought upon a terrorist attack on arm fashion beauty. Case in point: Louis Vuitton’s “explosion” of popular styles all in one tote. The LV Patchwork Tribute bag may have been the eye-opener to strike some sense into accessory fetishists everywhere. Maybe it’s caused us to see ornate handbags as sillier, or perhaps designers’ creativity (and sense of aesthetic sanity?) was lost or temporarily damaged in pursuit of dollar signs.

It’s something to think about. But rest assured, or perhaps the opposite: the handbag is here to stay of some importance to modern, stylish women. Everything goes in cycles, so if IT bags have either lost their appeal or there just aren’t worthy gorgies to satisfy and salivate us — it’ll come back big time again. The market rises and falls, economies change, budgets are balanced and blown — and presidents swear in and lame duck-tail it out. Fashion is a vicious world of the wild, and it too follows the laws of the circle of life.

Or … perhaps the IT’s still got IT. I mean, handbag always trumps shoes as the iconic symbol of women’s true sinful desires .. doesn’t it?

Largely reminiscent of Hayden-Harnett’s Mercer Clutch (I told you they were trend inspirers), this tote-ish bag by little known Corto Moltedo is also half strangely new. With a top rod/cut out - type handle and two side bottom pockets, plus loads of other doo-dads and design features, the bag’s a little much to take. It’s notable though, being a foldover convertible bag with attachable shoulder straps, plus it just looks so odd … so what else does Moltedo have to offer anyway? Should we keep a look-out?

The Priscilla sells for $2080 on Net-a-Porter.

Pictured here is an actual handbag for sale by designer, Marni. It’s huge, it’s design-less, it’s shape-less, it’s detail-less. Oh but it has a pricetag! $1230 for a sack of leather is fabbingMy F-ing word ridiculous. I would expect to see this at Target for $49. And only that much for the size and being genuine leather. And I would never expect something that looks like this to be actual leather. Or even a handbag, because this obviously is the closest thing we’ve seen lately (or EVER) to a bag just being a container for old food you don’t even want to give the dog. The ginormous size helps this image. There is nothing about this “bag” that warrants a price nearly like that, not even the Marni name (no one buys for the Marni name). I hope the brand sells 0 of this unit and they learn the hard way that the designers need to wake up in the morning and actually work at what they do, not just nap all day and be so proud of themselves that they’ve almost learned how to sketch a circle (it was a pretty shaky ellipse, the sketches of this style). Seriously, the one lone detail of the hanging plain fob just makes a bigger mockery of this whole charlatan of a purse. F for Effort for Marni on this one. You’d better do make-up work over the Summer, and when I see you again in the fall, try to be most improved.

More pictures of Spring 2007 Runway shots of Marni fashion and fuglyfabulously ugly bags.

It looks like Marc Jacobs took a trip to Vegas when inspired by new Spring 2007 Python Patchwork Stams, and unfortunately what happened in Marc’s imagination there, did not stay in Vegas. No the Python Patchwork Stam is now available for purchase via Saks Fifth Avenue (in blue, the tamest colour).

I should have warned you, this post’s images are not for the faint of heart. The bags themselves are not for the faint of loyal Marc Jacobs heart, either—for this burst of tie-dyed snake skin costs $4,000.

More colours below, if you dare click on what look more like digital art images than photographs of real objects.

Iiiii’m siiiiick! I come home from vacation for this to set in on me. I never get sick, and this is sick like I’ve never been (not the worst though, but certainly different). What a good day to start this feature up again, because I’m not sure how much original brain power I have in me. Oiiii.

Pictured is the “Get Your Own Bag” message canvas tote. It’s simple, filled with attitude and I also see loads of irony in it. A shapeless cartooned tote bag conveying envy and pride over a bag—what bag?—even the mini bag pictured is not “cute”. I believe it must be made with rightful intention, making fun of bag lovers. Still, it’s notable. Find purchase info (for the uncensored version too) at The Purse Blog.

Introduce yourselves to Eco-Bag, an online shop for bags designed by indies that are all recycled materials. The once soda bottle, once seat belt buckle, and once … boat sail? Yep, all hand made and all environmentally friendly. Shop via In My Bag.

Love that luxury trash bag style of the Coco Cabas, but for a well, still more expensive than trash pricetag? The Chapman Large Slouch Hobo by Charles David is a brandy copycat of Chanel’s bag. For less the money, but it’s not like you like the Chanel aside from its logo anyway! Via Se�ora Cartera (Mrs. Handbag).

Model Lily Cole designed a line of bags for Monsoon Accessories, EBelle5 featured a rainbow striped small purse.

Ooh, an umbrella case! What a nice change of pace. In cute rainbowed stars, the umbrella with case from Top Shop costs 12 pounds, and is only available in stores in the UK. Boo hoo, this sick girl is crying! Via The Bag Lady.

And finally, this doesn’t have to do with bags, but when I saw this billboard last week, I thought it would be perfect about for Counterfeit Chic to write. It’s Coke’s new billboards for Coca Cola Zero, like, “tastes so much like Coke, we should sue ourselves”. Funny?

Visit these great blogs, and we’ll see you around.